Coaches Corner
What Really Matters?

It never fails. The hockey season gets to a certain point and people scramble to get the upper hand or jockey for position to meet their personal objectives. Whether it's a coaching move that we think will be the difference in a game or a rumor that somehow just gets started, it's not what really matters. Coaches and parents often lose sight of what's really important and it becomes most evident at playoff time and when decisions for the following season are being made. Anxiety levels are raised, coaches make ill-advised maneuvers and whether we think it does or not; it transcends to the kids. Then we wonder why they didn't perform well. It's our own fault. It's because we lost sight of what really matters. We get caught up in line combinations, ice time, the big 'W' and we forget the process that got us there in the first place.

Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. Generally speaking, that may be the case in the NHL. But, youth sports are about striving to win; that's why they keep score, but winning itself is not what really matters. I hear from families that are still upset that their kid did not land on a gold team, or that their kid was not a captain - get over it! That was months ago and it's not what really matters. I hear parents bashing coaches because their kid missed a shift or that they want a coach to lose his position because 'that coach has it out for my kid' - get over it! It's not the case and it's not what really matters.

Youth sports are designed to provide kids with an opportunity to be part of a group. That's the beauty of being involved in a team sport. Kids learn a great deal from that dynamic and they grow from the experience. Now, that matters! We do our best to provide a positive environment for those experiences, but we are not perfect. Coaches (myself included) make mistakes, parents speak out of turn, kids make poor decisions, but what really matters is how we respond in those situations. Do we snap up the chance to learn a lesson, help our kids by teaching them the lesson, grow from the lessons and move on or do we try to satisfy our personal agendas and sweep things under the rug?

With the world tragedy about 6 months behind us now, we undoubtedly have learned a lot. Look a littler closer and we see the tragedy in Reading, Massachusetts where adult rage at a hockey rink resulted in a death, a guilty verdict and a sentence of 6-10 years. Furthermore, and even closer to home here in Bolingbrook, IL, we see a 13 year old has a date in juvenile court because of a violent on ice act. Not to mention the north side high school player that was paralyzed in 2000; the aggressor was sentenced to two years probation. We all must learn from this because youth hockey needs help! And it starts with you, the parents. Ultimately it is the parents that are responsible for the actions of their children. Coaches and administrators play a major role in teaching and leading, but it's the parents that need to set the tone. Let's raise the bar of expectations for our children's behavior. Let's eliminate the fuss over the things that don't really matter. Let's focus on striving as a group. Let's surround ourselves in a positive environment to allow our children to grow. Now, that's what really matters!